Entering Adulthood is marked by the passage of leaving home. Can we ever truly leave home? As young adults we believe that physically leaving home is all that is required. But as we age and acquire wisdom, we realize there is much baggage to lay aside as we take our metaphorical steps away from home. At the beginning of our path into adulthood, we fail to realize that leaving home is a process, a lifelong journey. It is a journey that leads us full circle, first away from home and then back again. Hopefully, our circular journey will lead us to discover the authentic adult within.

At adolescence, we move from childhood to adulthood in an effort to establish our identity in the world. This passage begs the question, “Who am I?” The task of our first adulthood is to answer this question by developing our personality and allowing our sense of self to guide us in our daily functioning in the world. This is the way our emerging adult answers the question of the teen’s identity.

During the online course, we placed First Adulthood on the wheel and explored in detail the attributes of this life passage in each direction on the wheel. Through guided visualization and journaling exercises, participants explored and gained many revealing insights. Here is an example of the kinds of questions they answered for first adulthood. Beginning in the West, what were your hopes and dreams? Moving across the wheel to the East, how did you create a role to accomplish your dream? Or did you choose a role or career that did not match your dream? For example, perhaps your dream was to become a writer, but you decided to become a high school English teacher instead. Did you change roles and dreams during first adulthood?

In the North, what did you perceive as your purpose in life and your connection to spirit? And in the South, how would you describe your lifestyle and relationships? How did your financial, relationship, and living commitments reflect your personal myth as described in the North? Were there discrepancies? Focus on how you manifested your mythic journey from spirit in the north down into your physical life in the south. What direction received the least attention in your first adulthood and why? If there were missing pieces in certain directions on your wheel, what impact did they have on the person you became in your second adulthood?

Carl Jung describes individuation as a process of ongoing dialogue between our Ego and Self where we choose our mythic symbols to guide us through the adventure of connecting with and remembering the mystery of who we are. This journey of individuation requires suffering, a wounding that allows us to awaken to our true selves and live according to our purpose, which truly is quite simply, to ‘become myself’.

When our wounding appears, we experience it as a crisis. It is a suffering that startles us into realizing that a new sense of consciousness is calling for us. We are being called to a higher level of development and it is going to cost us something in return. Jung said that suffering is always a precondition to the enlargement of consciousness. Our inner nature is asking us to grow and change, and suffering is the means that grabs and holds our attention.

Our psyche is attempting a healing and this often occurs throughout adulthood as we gain the skills and experience to heal ourselves. Most often, our greatest awakening and therefore, our greatest suffering, come at midlife, between the passages of first and second adulthood. Oftentimes, our coping mechanisms, our strategies for success, and our most important relationships fail us at midlife, so that we can grow to greater heights of awareness.

At midlife, we sense our strong desire for psychological and spiritual wholeness. This is the crisis that asks, "What does my life mean?” This crisis asks us to give up who we think we are so we can become who we are meant to be.

If you were to put Midlife Crisis on the wheel, starting in the East is the crisis, where we experience a sense of urgency that requires risking all that we once knew of self, all that felt settled and structured into place. It becomes a very dangerous time of living on the edge, and despite the risks, we cannot turn back from the reality that something must change!

In the West, across the wheel from the crisis in the east, we find our transmutation within the cocoon of our wound, the misery that we can avoid no longer. Our misery leads us deep into the inner realms of self where we seek reformation and transformation.

In the North is our quest for authenticity, where we seek new possibilities for self and we discover what matters, what has meaning for us in life. It is the place where we ask, what does my life mean?

Moving vertically on the wheel from the North’s quest for meaning, we manifest in the South our rebirth of self, where we discover new beginnings in a life of new meaning and authenticity.

Second adulthood usually commences at some point between your mid-forties and mid-fifties. This is the time when you flourish on your quest for individuation. You have encountered and surmounted the obstacles of the midlife crisis and you are now ready to re-imagine your identity and bring full meaning to your life. In a sense, you are returning to the Wheel of First Adulthood after a long journey into the dark woods of your soul. You have found your grail and return home ready to share the treasure.

However, the Wheel of Second Adulthood is like a gatekeeper who guards the territory of the new land of your soul. Before you can pass through the gateway, there are tasks you must complete around this wheel.

After participants journaled their sentiments regarding the descriptions of the second adult wheel, I asked them to compare and contrast their wheels of first and second adulthood. When you do this kind of contemplative work deep within your inner silence, surprises and revelations come to the surface. The meaning for the midlife crisis becomes clear. The latticework of connections illumine the continuity and new directions forged between the life passages. The wisdom of your life experience begins to instruct you in ways that make you blush, think twice, and smile.

Margaret Hart Lewis is a Spiritual Author, Educator, Counselor, and Ceremonialist

As a Spiritual Author,

Margaret has published two books - Wisdom Walks In Circles, The Spiraling Journey of Your Inner Voice, Authorhouse, 2004, and Landings, The Spiritual Return to Living Fully in the Body, Authorhouse, 2006. Margaret's books offer readers storylines that touch the soul, open the heart, and expand the mind.

As a Spiritual Educator,

Margaret offers her unique curriculum of exciting online courses and in person workshops and lectures. While generating highly stimulating discussions with participants, Margaret acts as a powerful catalyst for spiritual healing and personal development.

As a Spiritual Counselor,

Margaret's personal consultations provide assistance for releasing internal resistance from achieving your goals and vision of fulfillment. A session with Margaret consists of instruction for accessing personal pathways of spiritual guidance, inner journeys for self-healing and soul retrieval, intuitive coaching, trauma and abuse recovery, and self- development tools for personal empowerment.

As a Spiritual Ceremonialist,

Margaret conducts sacred gatherings to celebrate the Feminine Rites of Passage (puberty, motherhood, menopause), Spiritual Naming, Marriage, Soul Passing, and Fire Ceremonies of Initiation and Transformation.

Margaret is working on a new website! Coming soon is www.margarethartlewis.com. Keep checking wisdomwalks for updates!